Sex Toy Reviews

Sheets of San Francisco — Sex-Proof Bed Sheets

Hello Readers! Thank you again for coming to Sexually Secure to learn about another great product I had the opportunity to review. I will do my best over the next few days to figure out how to make a YouTube video that would add anything to what I’ve already written in this post. All things considered, they go on the bed like any other fitted sheet. I really don’t need to demonstrate how to make a bed, do I?

If you need an example of what a Queen Size set from Sheets of San Fransisco looks like, here is a picture of our bed with the black Funsheet Plus Fitted Sheet fit snuggly over all four corners. Yes, notice the baby oil on the right bedside table. Yes, notice my CPAP machine on the left bedside table. I’m a real person, not some Gold’s Gym steroid-infused porn star. We have sex like most people — I just choose to write about it and give you the lessons we’ve learned, as well as review the products we’ve used.
As you can clearly see, there is nothing noticeably different from the way this Funsheet fitted sheet goes on the bed than typical cotton or bamboo fitted sheets. And yes, Sheets of San Fransisco designed them this way. They wanted to make them simple — as simple as possible, and that includes clean-up! I’ll get to that soon.
What Makes the FunsheetDifferent?
So, a little about what these are. Unlike typical fitted sheets, Sheets of San Fransisco (an American made product) uses a two-ply construction of polyurethane fabric. They have their own propriety combination of 40% polyurethane and 60% polyester, but they are 100% hot and messy sex proof! More on that in a minute.
The feel of the Funsheet Plus, unlike cotton or bamboo, has a rubbery sensation. However, it doesn’t feel exactly like rubber. Essentially, according to my Wife, it feels like something Cat Woman would wear. To me, it feels like rubber infused with silk. It is a completely new and welcome sensation in our arsenal of sex toys and products.  (That arsenal is now taking up most of our walk-in closet and under-the-bed storage. If you have any storage suggestions, please let me know. We’re desperate at this point, and Google has failed us.)
Although the fitted Funsheet Plus is made of a rubbery material, it is completely breathable. Meaning, you won’t sweat when you lay on them. If you’ve ever sat on a faux leather chair in a hot room, you know how disgusting you start to feel after a short while. With Sheets of San Fransisco, they were able to balance breathability with a waterproof barrier. The only sweating we did was a result of our exhilarating session.


What Do You Mean by “Messy Sex Proof?”


As stated above, these sheets are messy-sex-proof. As a fantasy, Mrs. Secure always wanted to know what it would be like to slather baby oil all over each other and engage in a hot, steamy encounter. As much as I wanted to engage her fantasy, I couldn’t bring myself to risk messing up our Tempurpedic bed. So, I did some research. I reached out to Sheets of San Francisco to see if their sheets could hold up to a bottle of baby oil. Not only did they say yes, they sent me a fitted Funsheet and challenged us to do our worst — see how much of a mess we could make and how easily they clean up.
Well, we used a bit more than half a bottle of baby oil. I might have overdone it a bit, but I was in the moment, and it was a ton of fun. If you’ve never had sex with baby oil, it turns your skin into a live-action slip-n-slide. Everyone needs to try it at least once.
Side note: If you’re over 25 years old, consider using less baby oil. Between my ACL injury and general back pain, it was a challenge to keep from slipping off the bed. Also, you’ll have to reposition about every two minutes. You’d be amazed what frictionless sex leads to ;-P
“Wait, You Also Said These Were Easy to Clean.” Yep, I Sure Did…
Once we were done, we got off the bed (carefully, as not to ruin the carpet with oil), and we showered. Because it was late, we decided to just take the fitted Funsheet off, throw it in the tub, and wash it the next day. The fitted Funsheet Plus kept our bed completely clean. Not a drop of oil anywhere on the mattress. There was oil all over my nightstand, but absolutely nothing on the bed! I was impressed.
So then we thought, “Hey, we’re leaving them in the tub overnight with oil on them. Are they going to be alright?” I didn’t have a good answer to that, so we just decided to wait and see. (Do my worst, right?) Also, as mentioned above, these Funsheets are super easy to clean. Although I couldn’t read the hieroglyphics on the tag that told me how to wash and dry them, I did read the card that came in the box.
Here are the instructions to clean the Sheets of San Fransisco Funsheet:
  1. Wash them in the washing machine.
  2. Dry them in the dryer.
Simple, huh? And it worked. Our sheets came out squeaky clean (pun intended), and they looked brand new. In fact, the pictures throughout this post (save the one on the bed) are all pictures taken after we used them and washed them.
In addition to the fitted Funsheet PlusSheets of San Fransisco makes flat sheets (the sheet that you would sleep under), and pillow cases. If you have a non-standard size bed, they have a customizing option as well. This will run you $30 more, but believe me when I tell you it would be worth it. We will be using our fitted Funsheet Plus for years to come, and I truly believe it will last that long. If you haven’t clicked any of the links to get your own set, click here.