2017-03-28

Sex Toy Organization -- For Closets Full of Kink

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Why organize our sex toys?
Because our termite guy does not need to know how many dildo inches we can handle when he walks through our home.


Hey all, my Wife, Mrs. Secure, wanted to take the time to write to you about sex toy organization. Apparently, there are not many articles out there about how to do this. Some companies make specific sex toy organizers. You can usually find them on Etsy. But, if you're a reviewer or person/couple who has a whole bunch of toys, then you need a different solution. Here is what worked for us:

We are in spring-cleaning mode around here and we decided to show our adult toy collection some much-needed attention.  It’s a little embarrassing to show our personal mess in all its glory but we strive to be completely honest with our readers.  So please excuse our mess and we hope you can take away something from this post.  Continue reading for some tips on decluttering, organization and storage.

Sex toys are taboo for some folks but around here we celebrate play.  In order to make play more accessible, we decided to come up with a simple and streamlined system that we know we can stick to.  As you can see from the before pictures (below), we kept our toys in plastic storage bins.  Not only was this unattractive, but it also took up a lot of floor space in our closet.  It was like an unmanageable monster as it spread to our closet shelves, over to Mr. Secure’s side, into our nightstands, and even under our bathroom sinks!  If we wanted to play, it was almost like a scavenger hunt had to be incorporated in order to find the perfect toy.  

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Mrs. Secure came up with the idea to utilize under-the-bed storage containers to make everything nicely accessible.  First off, we unpacked all of our toys and placed them on our bed.  (Disclaimer:  Some of our larger toys stayed in their individual boxes and will go back in or closet.  These include the Sybian, Motor Bunny, and Tom V2.)  Once we were done unpacking, I must admit, it was a little overwhelming.  How did we accumulate this much?  How long was it going to take to go through them?  All sorts of thoughts like that.  But alas, we endured and opted for a “one item at a time” approach.  Take a look!  WOW!

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Side note:  Even after we were done organizing, we found smaller toys tucked away in other drawers throughout the house.

Next up, we decided we could divide everything into four categories.  You may have more or less depending on your specific needs.  We settled on:  
  • “Keep”- Toys that just needed to be organized, 
  • “Trash”-Toys we no longer enjoyed, 
  • “Review”-Toys that still need to be reviewed, and 
  • “Display”-Toys that are not only fun but amazing to look at.

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Then, we took our signs and placed them in different areas of the room and started the assessment of each item.  Keepers were easy to discern.  If it was something we reach for time and time again, is still in good working condition, and we knew we’d miss it if it was gone, we placed it in the keep pile.  

Trash was also pretty easy.  If we only used it once to review it, if it was in poor condition, if it was missing parts, or if we knew we would absolutely never use it again; it went in the Trash pile.  (Note:  we did remove any batteries and also tried to keep and reuse any of the storage pouches in order to reduce our waste.)  All in all, we didn’t throw out much.  There is supposedly a site where you can recycle your sex toys by mailing them in, and they are disposed of properly. That just seems like a hassle.  

The review pile was pretty small, as we try and review toys shortly after we receive them.  I believe there were a couple we placed in that pile.  They went into Mr. Secure’s office so they’ll get their proper review at a later time.  During our cross-country move, we packed up and missed a few reviews.

Finally, the Display pile was just beautiful, really!  There are toys that we not only enjoy using but they are just beautiful works of art in our opinions.  Since we have a walk-in closet in a private master bath, we have decided to mount a display shelf in there with a few choice pieces to display.  Once we get the shelf up and everything displayed, we’ll get you an update. For now, here’s a look at some of the items we’re displaying.  

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OK, so when we were done separating everything out, we disposed of the trash, moved the “review” items into the office, moved the display items to the side, and got to work on the “keep” pile.  Our bed is a queen and is able to accommodate three Sterilite Underbed Storage Containers with lids.  Here’s a link if you’re interested in the one’s we used.

Of the three containers, one is designated for Mrs. Secure, one for Mr. Secure, and the one in the middle is for the playing we do together.  

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I like the fact that they have lids, too, because it helps to keep the contents clean. Inside each bin, I wouldn't say there's really a system of organization, because, let's face it; when you want to play, it's pretty awesome to just break out the whole box and go to town! Delicate toys are kept inside pouches, and we tried to keep boxes and instructions for any complicated toys. (ex. e-stim kits, Sybian, Motorbunny, etc.). Take a look:

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Again, though, these aren't all of our toys.  The larger ones live in boxes in the closet and our most reached for toy or two live in the vicinity of our nightstands.  Mrs. Secure’s Doxy, for example, ALWAYS stays plugged in!  :-P  For liquids, we were sure to put those inside plastic bags in case there is leakage.  Also, we keep a large bottle of lube in our nightstand as well.

I hope this post was informative for you.  The truth is, when we searched sex toy organization on the web, all we could find were odd, hack-like tips, like storing your dildos in a spice rack or in an over-the-door shoe organizer.  Those might work great for some people but we like to keep our toys super accessible but still out of sight.  I am reminded of the time our pest-control guy did a walk-through of the house and there were not only visible toys everywhere, but our realistic dongs were literally pressed against the sides of the plastic storage bins in the closet!  Maybe he’s an understanding and open-minded guy, but if not, there’s no telling what he thought.  LOL!  As for the more artistic toys, we don’t mind those being on display, heck most people won’t even know what they are at first glance.  Thankfully, the more anatomical ones are out of sight, so it’s still a private and intimate thing we do as a couple.  Our termite guy does not need to know how many inches we can handle.  HAHA!

I hope this post has been helpful.  If you have any tips or tricks to add, just let us know in the comments.  Happy Spring Cleaning!  

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2 comments:

  1. Thanks for this post. I like the idea of dividing them into predetermined categories. I badly need to buy a label maker and tag each charging cord to it's respective sex toy.

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  2. My husband and I have a huge walk in closet, which is good because we have room for an extra dresser that we use for our sex toys, sexy wear, lubes, cleaners, and even our modest porn collection. Granted my husband did build it himself in which he also added locks on each drawer for added privacy.

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