This is a research/advice article regarding prostate massage as a treatment for premature ejaculation. I was not paid to write this article. My goal is to promote discussion of a taboo topic in men’s sexual health.
A few weeks back, Aneros contacted me to ask if I would post an article about premature ejaculation and how prostate massage can help treat that problem. Because I don’t suffer from this disorder personally, there was no way for me to write it from an anecdotal point of view. Therefore, I had to delve into peer-reviewed publications, scrape the Internet for anecdotal testimony, and Google everything I could about premature ejaculation. Here is what I found:
Anecdotally, prostate massage has earned a position of trust in the treatment for everything from enlarged prostates, prostatitis, erectile dysfunction, increased erection strength, infertility, stronger orgasms, and premature ejaculation. The biggest reason I use prostate massagers (and more specifically, Aneros massagers) is very simple. I use them because they feel absolutely amazing.
By my own experience, I can attest that Aneros massagers help me achieve a quicker and stronger erection. My orgasms are much more intense. Also, I have learned how to achieve a prostate orgasm (with enough time and relaxation). Prostate massage has not helped my infertility issues. The proof of that is due to the lack of kids I have running around my house. But, we’re not here to talk about me or my issues; we’re here to address premature ejaculation.
The Merriam-Webster (2017) dictionary defines premature ejaculation as such: ejaculation of semen that occurs prior to or immediately after penetration of the vagina by the penis.
The premature ejaculation DSM-V criteria is: “Persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, on, or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it.” (APA, 2013).
Socially, men want to be able to last as long as a partner wants to engage in intercourse. For some men, premature ejaculation is a few minutes. Others may think it’s much longer. Most studies that were completed in this field (from my research) showed that the majority of men self-diagnose their premature ejaculation status. By the DSM-V stating “before a person wishes it,” this leaves a lot of wiggle room for the interpretation of who suffers from it.
Who Suffers from Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation (PE), also referred to as rapid ejaculation, is a prevalent condition with between 22 and 38% of the adult male population suffering from this disorder (Laumann, Paik, & Rosen, 1999; Spector & Carey, 1990). Symonds, et al (2003) interviewed 28 men who were self-diagnosed with premature ejaculation. The data gathered from this study show that premature ejaculation has a similar qualitative effect on men as that of erectile dysfunction. That means men who suffer from premature ejaculation likely have the same confidence/self-esteem problems as erectile dysfunction sufferers.
Similarly, Hatzimouratidis, et al (2010) found that PE has a prevalence rate of 20-30% of men. In comparison to Laumann’s findings, these numbers are nominal in deviation, and therefore enforce the accuracy of the percentages. Screponi, et al (2001) list even higher percentages, but they never top 40%. Hatzimouratidis, et al (2010) also found that the condition can be both lifelong or acquired. This means that someone can be born with it or acquire it through physical health complications/psychological complications. So, with 1 in 5 men suffering from PE, why is this not addressed on a more public forum?The reason is shame and self-confidence. Rather than facing the problem head-on, people typically fall victim to social stigmas and never discuss it.
Symonds, et al (2003) cited some extremely useful information regarding PE. As of their writing in 2003, there were absolutely no medications on the market to specifically target PE. From my research, the primary medications used to treat PE incorporate the side effects (and therefore off-label) dosing of antidepressants. Drugs like Zoloft, Paxil, and Prozac were most common. But, antidepressants come with their own sets of issues. People who do not suffer from depression might face more danger by taking them to treat PE. Medication, in my lay opinion, is not the optimal form of treatment. That said, Symonds (2003) also notes that 47% of men do not believe there is a treatment for their PE.
So, Can It Be Treated?
I hold the firm belief that anything can be achieved if one puts his/her mind to it. Atmaca, et al (2002) performed a study that compared the use of citalopram versus placebo in the treatment of premature ejaculation. At the end of the study, they concluded that citalopram did have a significant treatment effect over that of placebo. (Meaning, the medication worked better than a sugar pill.) But, I extrapolated something important from their research. Namely, the placebo DID have a significant effect in treatment. This indicates that premature ejaculation can be treated through a means other than medication: namely psychological treatment, meditation, prostate massage, and the practice of edging.
Other than medications, other common treatments I found for premature ejaculation were geared toward the desensitization of the penis during intercourse. Namely, using condoms and/or using chemical desensitizers were most commonly cited as preferred methods. I believe that using specific methods of desensitization takes away from the intimacy and sensation that is the gift of sexual pleasure. Rather than decreasing sensitivity, I think a man should find the root of his problem, address it, and then treat it.
Jannini, et al (2005) found that premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction has a profound occurrence of overlap. Meaning, most men who suffer from erectile dysfunction (mild to severe) also suffer from premature ejaculation. These men end up in a vicious cycle of increasing sensitivity to achieve an erection, premature ejaculation, then trying to decrease sensitivity to prevent PE, and finally falling back into erectile dysfunction. Here is Jannini’s (2005) chart which illustrates this cycle:
Another organic cause of premature ejaculation is prostatitis (inflamed or infected prostate). Screponi, et al (2001) found in a study of 46 patients with premature ejaculation, that 13 (28.2%) exhibited one or more clinical symptoms of prostatitis.
The most common psychological issue that is believed to cause premature ejaculation is anxiety. Nearly every source cited so far has mentioned in one form or another that anxiety is a commonly attributed cause to PE. However, it is also worth noting that no one has been able to pinpoint the exact cause or causes of PE. It could be anxiety-driven, other psychological disorder(s), penile hypersensitivity, prostatitis, or a myriad of other unknown factors.
If you suffer from PE, I strongly suggest you seek a medical examination before trying your own form of treatment. If you have prostatitis, prostate cancer, performance anxiety, ED, or other factors, your Doctor should be able to best advise you on treatment for root causes. If you feel your Doctor is incompetent, get a new one. Also, he or she will be able to give you clearance on whether or not you can engage in prostate massage as a possible treatment.
If you suffer from PE or ED as a result of prostatitis, prostate massage has been shown to reduce swelling and increase blood flow to your prostate. Much like a masseuse who massages your sore muscles, the prostate can be massaged the same way. For most people, having a partner or professional do this for them is too invasive or uncomfortable. Therefore, more and more men are experimenting on their own with prostate massagers. By massaging the prostate to reduce inflammation, this will increase the ease of achieving erections. As a secondary effect, this will decrease the occurrence of premature ejaculation (in theory).
Although Aneros did ask me to write this article, I also stand by their product line. Between Aneros and Nexus, those are the two companies I use the most for my own prostate massage and sexual activities. Aneros has several products that are perfect for beginners, such as the Helix Syn, Eupho Syn, the SGX, and the MGX.
Whatever the cause of one’s premature ejaculation, I firmly believe that prostate massage can reduce the occurrences of PE and increase the length of time a man can engage in sexual intercourse. Most of this needs to be done with a combination of prostate massage combined with relaxation and edging.
Prostate massage has a tendency to increase the speed at which one ejaculates. Meaning, if you suffer from premature ejaculation, you might be even more sensitive when you incorporate a massaging device. This, however, is a benefit to you in the long run. The incorporation of using a prostate massager should be done during solo play until you can comfortably use it during intercourse.
The idea is analogous to training for a marathon. Someone who suffers from PE would be a sprinter in this analogy. After a few moments, the sprinter’s energy is spent. Through endurance training, increasing sensitivity, and through the practice of edging, I believe the sprinter can successfully become a marathoner. Here is a very simple recipe for that. However, I highly encourage you to read this articleabout edging using the start-stop method.
Find a place where you can be alone for a prolonged period of time.
Lie on your bed or floor with a towel underneath you, a bottle of water-based lube, and your Aneros prostate massager.
Follow the directions for your prostate massager, and insert it into your anus.
Without doing anything to your body, just relax and breathe. Feel the massager inside you, and feel how it is touching your prostate.
If you feel the need to ejaculate, do not touch your penis. In fact, for the first few sessions of doing this, I recommend not touching your penis at all.
If you are comfortable rocking back and forth on your massager (or using your pelvic floor muscles to maneuver it), then do so. This will gently massage your prostate and increase sensitivity. Do it until you can’t take anymore, and then stop moving.
Repeat that process over and over again. If you feel like you are going to ejaculate, stop. Stop, breathe, and recenter yourself. Do this over and over again as well.
Only incorporate your hand when you want to test your limits or take things to the next level.
Try to increase the length of time you can do this each session without ejaculating. The combination of prostate massage and penile stimulation will bring you to the edge rather quickly. By stopping before you reach that point, you will start to train your mind and body to recognize the signs of oncoming ejaculation. You will then be able to recognize these signs during intercourse and pause/change positions if you have to. Finally, you will also be able to train yourself to hold your ejaculation until you want to let go.
Keep in mind that the above steps are only my suggestions. Each person is different, and he might need to engage in sex therapy, take medication, or explore meditation and mindfulness practices. There is no one-size-fits-all cure for premature ejaculation. Treating it will not take place overnight. If you suffer from PE, then you absolutely must take the time to practice on a regular basis. Again, with the marathon training analogy, it takes time, patience, and resilience to get where you want to be. Whatever you do, don’t give up!
Atmaca, M., Kuloglu, M., Tezcan, E., & Semercioz, A. (2002, 12). The efficacy of citalopram in the treatment of premature ejaculation: A placebo-controlled study. International Journal of Impotence Research, 14(6), 502-505. doi:10.1038/sj.ijir.3900918
Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders DSM-5. (2013). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association.
Hatzimouratidis, K., Amar, E., Eardley, I., Giuliano, F., Hatzichristou, D., Montorsi, F., . . . Wespes, E. (2010, 05). Guidelines on Male Sexual Dysfunction: Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation. European Urology, 57(5), 804-814. doi:10.1016/j.eururo.2010.02.020
Jannini, E. A., Lombardo, F., & Lenzi, A. (2005, 12). Correlation between ejaculatory and erectile dysfunction. International Journal of Andrology, 28(S2), 40-45. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2605.2005.00593.x
Laumann, E. O., Paik, A., & Rosen, R. C. (1999, 02). Sexual Dysfunction in the United States. Jama, 281(6), 537. doi:10.1001/jama.281.6.537
Premature Ejaculation Medical Definition. (n.d.). Retrieved March 25, 2017, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/premature ejaculation
Screponi, E., Carosa, E., Stasi, S. M., Pepe, M., Carruba, G., & Jannini, E. A. (2001, 08). Prevalence of chronic prostatitis in men with premature ejaculation. Urology, 58(2), 198-202. doi:10.1016/s0090-4295(01)01151-7
Symonds, T., Roblin, D., Hart, K., & Althof, S. (2003, 01). How Does Premature Ejaculation Impact a Man’s Life? Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 29(5), 361-370. doi:10.1080/00926230390224738