2017-03-10

Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo

Typically, I'd have some catchy second part to my article title, but I just don't know what to put there this time. So, I left it blank. Blank, by the way, is kind of how I felt with the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo. It really didn't meet the expectations I had. That said, if you read my other articles on masturbation sleeves, you might notice that I'm not a huge fan of them. Over the many years of practice I've had to tug on my own member, I've found that, second to my Wife's body, my hand is better than any "guybrator" or masturbation sleeve you can throw at me.

Once I began sticking things up my butt and writing about them, I discovered a whole new world of sex toys and satisfaction for men. Men, if you're reading this, please vouch for that in the comments section.

From here on out, the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Duo will be called the HOP-3D. I hate long names, and HOP-3D sounds better.

In the package, you get a beautiful carrying case, the magnetic charging cable, the remote control for your partner, and, of course, the HOP-3D itself. At about $150, this is not a cheap toy. For those of you who like masturbation sleeves, this will probably be the most expensive one you ever buy, but it is very well designed. 

The main unit of the HOP-3D looks like a frightened stingray that is really trying his best to swim away from the kids at the aquarium who are trying to touch him. Inside the unit, there are ridges, a big bump, and smooth silicone material. All of those design elements come into play when the unit is either vibrating or being slid up and down your shaft.

The magnetic charger is self-explanatory. Plug the charger into a USB port/adapter, and then put the other part on the metal contacts of the HOP-3D.

The other part included with this toy is the remote control. This remote is strictly for the partner. There is a secondary motor underneath the unit that is there for clitoral stimulation. So, once you have the HOP-3D turned on, you can put your penis inside it, straddle your lady, and she can control the clitoral stimulator while you rub up and down. You won't be able to penetrate her, but it is great for foreplay.

The HOP-3D, at it's basic form, has nine intensities and five different patterns. There is also a turbo mode where you can kick it up a notch even on the highest setting. I guess I just don't understand why so many of these toys need a Cray supercomputer to figure out how to use them. If manufacturers take note of the Hitachi Wand and the Doxy, they might learn a thing or two. We really don't need that many options. On, off, up, down, maybe a few intensity settings...that's it! I don't want to divide by the square root of negative one to figure out what setting works best for me.

OK, enough of my rant about design. Here are the positive parts of the HOP-3D.
  1. This thing is incredibly powerful. After about four hours of charging, you'll get about two hours of use. The motor(s) in it are designed to provide strong vibrations to the parts you need them the most. For us guys, that part is the frenulum. 
  2. The HOP-3D holds itself onto your penis. The whole unit is bottom heavy, because that is where the motors lie. To compensate for that, they came up with that frightened stingray design I mentioned earlier. The silicone that grabs your shaft is thick and strong. It will not come off unless you want it to.
  3. Where I could care less about vibration patterns and nine levels of intensity, you might find that to be the most important part of the HOP-3D. That said, yes, you have plenty of options -- likely more combinations that the Sonic Drive-In soft drink menu. 
  4. The remote control works well. From what I've read, this used to be an issue with the different HOPs. They fixed it on this go-round. 
In conclusion, I have this to say. Hot Octopuss has created an incredible ad campaign. Their site looks beautiful, their products are stunning, and they airbrush their models to look like nihilistic sex fiends. Much like Fleshlight, I feel they sell themselves on marketing rather than substance. The sensations I feel from my Wife's Hitachi Wand ($60) are better than what I felt with the HOP-3D ($150). The HOP-3D definitely fills the perceived gap in men's sex toys, but I don't think men need masturbation sleeves as much as they need prostate massagers. I think the next best thing this company can do is to focus on prostate massage and mimic the business models of two of my favorite companies, Nexus and Aneros.

If you want to pick one up and try it yourself, then go to one of my most adored sites, CouplesPlaythings. They have this for sale, but they also sell a whole lot of goodies that I really enjoy. Check them out!

Feel free to contact me directly with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content, or you can follow me on Twitter.
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