2016-10-13

Prostate Massage -- A Straight Perspective for the P-Spot Curious


A while back, I worked with my Wife, Mrs. Secure, to draft an article that addressed overcoming the fear of one's partner using sex toys. It received a lot of positive feedback; feel free to check it out here. This article, regarding prostate massage, is geared similarly to overcoming fear. Even though my Twitter followers are extremely open-minded and sex-positive, there is likely a large percentage of men who are closed off to prostate massage and stimulation (or they are in the closet about it). This article will address some of those issues. Although the article is focused towards men, at the same time, women may want to pay attention to this. Some women take serious issue with anything going inside their man's butt. Hopefully, by the end of this article, you (both men and women) will be open to trying this exciting, and mind-blowing stimulation.

Myth #1:  Putting something inside my anus (or massaging my prostate) will make me gay.

Truth:  This is the biggest complaint and putt-off I have heard about anal stimulation on men, and that is why I'm addressing it up front. Sexual orientation is not a choice. If it was a choice, I'm sure that anyone who has read about a homosexual getting beaten to death would not choose to be a homosexual. Putting something inside you, massaging your prostate, pegging, or letting your partner perform manual manipulation of your anus and prostate -- NONE OF THAT MAKES YOU GAY! If anything, it opens you up to 50% more sexual sensation that you would otherwise be missing. Also, why is the gay thing still an issue? Get over it already.

Myth #2:  There is no such thing as a prostate orgasm.

Truth:  Yes, there is. It's not the same as a traditional ejaculation orgasm. I won't get into the weeds about the various kinds of orgasms a man can have, but there are basically two separate types: ejaculation orgasm and prostate orgasm. A man can ejaculate without orgasm (like in a wet dream). Most men identify their orgasms as the point of no return when their bodies take over, the prostatic muscles starts pumping, and the semen squirts out. However, a prostate orgasm is like the sensation just before the point of no return, but it lasts for minutes (not seconds). There is no ejaculation. The energy that is radiated throughout the body is extremely pleasant and sexual. The longest one I had was with the Nexus Sparta. The second longest was with the Aneros Progasm. There is a ton of literature on the Interwebs that will guide you and teach you how to have a prostate orgasm. In my next health related post, I will discuss methods to get you there if you are having trouble.

Myth #3:  I'll become so used to prostate massage, that I won't be able to get hard without something in my butt.

Truth:  This myth is so far from the truth, it's almost laughable. You will likely be able to achieve an erection easier and fuller after using prostate massagers. There is not a whole lot of empirical evidence behind cleaning out the prostate (through massage); however, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence. Your prostate is a depot for heavy metals (no, not like Opeth, Katatonia, or Iron Maiden...more like lead, mercury, and cadmium). By massaging your prostate, you will clean out the prostatic ducts and flush these heavy metals from your body. Massage will also increase blood flow and healing (aiding the relief of prostatitis/inflamed prostate). With all of this new healthiness hitting your P-spot, the rest of your reproductive system will become healthier and stronger. Therefore, erectile dysfunction (ED) and the inability to hold a firm erection for a long time will diminish.

Also worth noting -- if you are someone who uses hands-free toys, like anything from the Aneros line, you will inadvertently strengthen your pelvic floor (the kegel muscles). With a healthy prostate, stronger pelvic muscles, firmer erections, and cleaned out heavy metals, you will have incredible and intense ejaculation orgasms (and, hopefully, more frequent prostate orgasms).

Myth #4:  My girlfriend/Wife/fiancee will be disgusted by my desire to massage my prostate (either with a toy or having her do it to you).

Truth:   Yes, this part might be true for some. Take my Wife, for example. Mrs. Secure used to believe in Myth #1. She thought that the only time something went in a guy's posterior was for a rectal exam, suppository, or gay anal sex. It took me a long time to open up about my desire to massage my prostate, but one day, I just went for it. This was not a conversation with an ultimatum (meaning, You're going to be OK with me massaging my prostate, or I'm leaving.) No, I approached this conversation from a place of love and understanding. If you've read our post on overcoming the fear  and jealousy of letting your partner use sex toys, I used the same approach for prostate massage. I let her know that I enjoyed how it felt, that it gave me incredible orgasms, and that I don't fantasize about having sex with men when something is inside me. I explained what it felt like, why I enjoyed it, and why I want to do it with her (intimacy and vulnerability). That conversation, once started, was very comfortable. The results of opening up about that have increased our levels of sexual adventure, passion, exploration, and enjoyment. Now, both of us use toys nearly 95% of the time we engage in intercourse.

Myth #5:  It will hurt.

Truth:  Not if you do it correctly. Also, don't ever use an item that is not designed for prostate massage (like a random piece of whatever-is-lying-around-the-house). That will land you a quick and embarrassing trip to the E.R., let alone the potential for long-term harm to your anus, colon, prostate, and sphincters.

Start small and simple. Something like the Aneros Helix Syn or Eupho Syn are going to be your best choices. They are easy to insert, they stay in easily, and they will expose you gradually to the art and science of massaging your own prostate. Oh, and though they are great for beginners, they are also suitable for experts (once you strengthen the kegel muscles). By having a strong pelvic floor, you will be able to manipulate those massagers hands-free, which will allow you to stroke your prostate solely by squeezing your kegel muscles.

After you master that level, then you can go onto bigger and (sometimes) better things. Don't hasten your journey to bigger things. When you get there, it will be worth it. By advancing too quickly, you will risk injuries. This will hinder your progress, or it will turn you off completely.

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In closing, I'm always open to offer my advice and guidance if you are having trouble, or if you need someone to explain it better to your partner. Prostate massage will open your sexual life to a whole new level. Sex and masturbation will never be the same.

Once you have gotten the hang of prostate massage, feel free to try new toys. If you want something really aggressive, I have found nothing more direct and unforgiving as the Nexus Titus. It gave me the most intense ejaculation orgasm I ever had with a prostate massager. That said, it is not for the beginner. Get started, get comfortable, learn your body, and then go get the Titus.

Feel free to contact me directly with any comments, questions, or suggestions. Subscribe to Sexually Secure, so you know when I post new content, or you can follow me on Twitter.

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4 comments:

  1. Very informative text. Thank your for sharing your insights. Especially that you are a male. I am a sex adviser and often work with men on that topic. The biggest concern is almost always a fear of being identified as a gay man. In general everything related to gayness, including the awkward feeling of having something penis shaped between ones legs. I think we should address this problem in the first place, always.

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    1. Thank you, Samantha! Men, in my own anecdotal experience, are very turned off by anything going inside them. "Exit only!," they say. If they open themselves to prostate massage, they will increase their sexual arousal and experiences at least twofold. The prostate is extremely powerful, and it increases sexual performance to new heights. Keep passing the word!

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    2. If u find anal simulation amazing like me how can approach a woman about doing it

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    3. Hey Aaron! This is a tricky question, and there is no answer that fits all. However, the best place to start is simply asking her. Have an adult conversation where you express how good it feels to you. Let her know that you have toys you can use for solo stimulation, but you would love to feel what it's like to have her do it to you. Be open to her responses, questions, and comments. If she's not into it, don't push her. She may open up later on, but pushing the issue will surely turn her off. If she is willing to try it, ask her how and when she would like to try this new activity. All that said, you might be asking a woman who loves doing this to guys, and you are in for a treat. If you want to explain your situation more privately, email me with your circumstances at sexuallysecure@gmail.com I'll do my best to answer you fully.

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